On 9 July 2013, novelist India Knight tweeted that she had been enjoying reading The Cuckoo’s Calling, a modern private detective novel with a distinctly classical feel written by an enigmatic former military policeman named Robert Galbraith.  Someone replied to her tweet saying that Galbraith was none other than Harry Potter author and literary titan J.K. Rowling.  This piqued Knight’s curiosity, and she initiated her own detective investigation, which ultimately revealed that yes, Galbraith was indeed Rowling.  The tip-off tweet had come from the best friend of the wife of one of Rowling’s solicitors (who, in a display of conciseness any book editor would be proud of, had managed to trash his professional reputation in under 140 characters).  This big reveal unsurprisingly became a news story in its own right, and led to one of my favourite Daily Mash parody news items: JK Rowling recorded two dubstep albums as Burial. Continue reading

Detectives Christine Cagney and Mary Beth Lacey are high up on the scaffolding of an office tower block under construction — many many storeys above the street.  In the process of confronting and apprehending a corrupt construction worker, Lacey has fallen off and is now clinging on to a metal pole for dear life.  If her grip slips, she will fall and die.  Her loving husband Harvey (the site manager and the one who brought the corruption to the detectives’ attention) tells Cagney, in horror, that his wife is stuck in a ‘death grip’.  Which means that Mary Beth has frozen in horror, and no amount of persuading will make her let go, even if help is offered.  She’ll keep hanging on until she is overcome with exhaustion, and falls to her death.  There’s only one thing for it, he says.  He edges towards her, closer and closer.  And when he is right next to her, he punches her in the face. Continue reading

The FUTURE PERFECT PROGRESSIVE TENSE indicates a continuous action that will be completed at some point in the future. This tense is formed with the modal “WILL” plus the modal “HAVE” plus “BEEN” plus the present participle of the verb (with an -ing ending): “Next Thursday, I will have been working on this project for three years.”

Q: When is the future not like the future?
A: When it’s the past.

Vinyl is making a comeback. It’s been making a comeback for years; we’ve all heard that. And now, all the well-informed people will tell you that the comeback is over — indeed, the whole thing was just a sham for poseurs in the first place. But behind the clickbaity headlines (which often wildly exaggerate the claims of the actual articles) it seems increasingly clear to me that something is definitely going on in Vinyland. Yes, production quality might be variable, and the albums that are selling tend to be old albums that have already shifted millions of units, but people are excited about them. Continue reading

So in my travels I stumbled across this article on the 150 albums created by women.

This prompted me to write a long, angry, ranty blog post about how badly I think female artists have been treated by music critics (indeed by critics of all the arts), which I then deleted. I then wrote another much more moderate blog from scratch, and that also turned into a long angry ranty blog post. And so this time I showed it to Hannah, and said: can you just have a look at this for me? I’m not quite happy with what I’m saying here, but I’m not quite sure why.

And she said that, whilst it would basically be fine to publish with maybe a few tweaks, there was perhaps a very outside chance that some readers might interpret it as… possibly… mansplaining Feminism.

Which is exactly the thing I was worried about but couldn’t quite put my finger on.

Being male, my second-hand outrage is of no real importance to anyone, even me. And it wasn’t even supposed to be my original point. So here I go one last time, with that pitfall in mind. Continue reading

The tagline of the Eulogize This site is ‘Praising the peaks of culture’.  Culture is music, literature, drama, cinema, painting, ceramics, architecture… it’s the epic artistic statements that form the basis of tourist attractions, pub quizzes and Monty Python sketches.  But of course it’s also much more than that.  Aside from ‘timeless’ culture, there is also everyday culture: advertisements, jingles, internet memes, gossip, and the style of television documentaries known as reality TV.  These things are generally not given the same acclaim, and they’re not designed to get it.  They’re built to be kind of disposable: the Amazon packing cardboard of our shared experience.  But in this article I would like to sing the praises of one such reality TV show — DIY SOS : The Big Build. Continue reading