"Tonight, I took a nagging ache / And made the ache much worse..."
History
In the early days of social media (this song was begun in 2006) I was struck, quite out of the blue, with an uncontrollable urge to find out what happened to a particular girl who I was in love with when I was a kid. Even though Facebook-stalking wasn't really acknowledged thing at that stage, I still heard myself saying 'no good will come of this' again and again. You can imagine how badly it ended. Except that it didn't: I found out that she was getting married in a few months, and suddenly I felt a deep sense of relief, as if I didn't have to worry about this anymore. And the sheer surprise of that outcome inspired this song. Now, I'm not going to encourage you all to look up old flames on social media, but I will say that sometimes it's a relief to know that a door that has felt like it's frustratingly ajar is now comfortably closed.
Lyrics
Tonight I opened up a wound Just to watch it bleed To see where it would lead I double-locked the door And curled up on the floor At first it made me drowsy ----------------------------------------- Tonight I opened the incision Even though I knew The damage it would do I couldn't help myself It wasn't my decision It came from somewhere else An itch I had to scratch A sore I had to pick ----------------------------------------- Tonight I took a nagging ache And made the ache much worse It wasn't a mistake I did the thing on purpose My mind was somewhere else I noticed that my fingers Were rubbing at the skin This strange sensation lingers I'm starting to begin I undo all the stitches I sterilise a needle And then I go to work ----------------------------------------- Tonight I wagered up my soul Surrendered my control And yes I don't need to be told Some needs are best resisted Best left out in the cold But this idea persisted The adrenalin took hold I watched it all unfold That crimson line appears Like ink on paper towel Like in my teenage years But that was to impress And this cut is for real We Hadn't seen each other in years I'd long put it to bed But then it just popped in my head And I just had to know And so ----------------------------------------- Tonight I opened up the wound I let the fluid run Until it was all done And now i feel much better Now the wound can healCredits & Copyright
Written in February 2007 and recorded in June 2010 by James Bell. Released in November 2010. Remastered in July 2017. (C) & (P) House of Lyra. All rights reserved.