"Hey it's okay, this is what I do..."
History
The initial idea for this song came from the film Adult Life Skills, where Jodie Whittaker’s character is taken out by friends to a nightclub. To begin with it seems okay, but then the combination of enjoyment expectations + the difficulty of actual social interaction + alcohol + claustrophobia means that she starts having an emotional crisis on the dancefloor. This scene reminded me that, whilst I occasionally look back on going to clubs in my 20s with a hint of nostalgia, I was actually far more into the music than the experience, because this existential crisis would usually happen every time. Basically, it was a crisis brought on purely by circumstances, and I had normally forgotten about it in the morning. Generally I’m not a fan of existential crises, but they can be useful to remind you that life is short, and you need to be thinking about what you want to do with the rest of your life not tomorrow but today. (Oh, also, the riff comes from the traditional tune Once I Loved A Maiden Fair.)
Lyrics
And from the blue Air punched out of you And your world shrinks to These four walls And the beat goes on Where’s everybody gone? How am I back in The wilderness? ----------------------------------------- As I wave And disappear from view Hey it’s okay This is what I do I fail alone But I try alone Anyway And as the night Turns to day As my light Burns away I was born alone I’m going to die alone Any day now... ----------------------------------------- Then, below Speaking soft and low: “If you used to glow You’re on fire now” “And it’s just pain It’s just passing rain And you know how to fight this existential crisis On the dancefloor” ----------------------------------------- And as I wave And disappear from view Hey it’s okay This is what I do I fail alone But I try alone Anyway And as the night Turns to day As my light Burns away I was born alone I could die alone Any day now... ----------------------------------------- So…Credits & Copyright
Written and recorded by James Bell in November 2018. Released in November 2018. (C) & (P) House of Lyra.
Photo by Victoria Alexander on Unsplash